A Wonderful Plan

Anyone remember the evangelism trope, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life?” I’ll be honest, I don’t know if this is coming from the snarky part of me or not, but I was thinking that a better presentation would be “God loves you and wants to kill you…  and raise you up in his Son, and outside of that all your plans are going to perish!”

Should I start making some tracts???

5 Responses to “A Wonderful Plan”

  1. KLB  

    Anymore, I hate hearing about “god.” I want to hear about how good our fellow human beings treat each other. THAT is how we will experience “god.”

  2. Roger Green  

    Worst.Seller. Ever!

  3. K  

    A very sucky idea.
    Blows huge gnarly chunks.

    I think you’d have better success selling chocolate.

    Instead, try “God loves you, and man made chocolate, so man loves you too.”

    Jesus never ate chocolate, nor enjoyed bourbon whiskey, Brie, French bread, drove a convertible, or ate bacon – as far as we know… which really, isn’t very much.

    Just love one another, forgive one another, and serve one another, and you’ll be okay.

    Remember: If you don’t love God, (S)He’ll send you to an everlasting place of torment called “Hell,” because, you know… that’s what all good parents would do to their unrepentant children.

    Turn or burn, baby… burn!

    [NOTE: The reader should sense a deep, dark sense of sarcasm.]


    Everlasting Life! Don’t forget that, everlasting life.

  5. Simon  

    I think “God probably doesn’t love you” would be my tract.