My Rating

Today, I went to my friend Chris’s blog site to get caught up on his postings and lo and behold I found that his site had been rated using the movie industry rating system. Being amused and somewhat jealous that he had received an official rating I decided to go to the website that gave him his rating and I got my own rating, which is expressed in the box immediately below:

What's My Blog Rated? From Mingle2 - Online Dating

I would like to point out that Chris only received a PG rating. Now I realize that for some my receiving an R rating is not something to brag about, but instead should be seen as a mark of shame that calls for repentance on my part. I would like to say in response, however, that I believe the Bible, if it was faithfully translated into film, would receive an R rating. I believe this because in the Scriptures there are a whole gamut of things that typically prompt an R rating, for example: graphic depiction of wars, incest, barbarism, seduction, sex out of marriage, sex across species, graphic depiction of pain, nudity, graphic depiction of brutality, sex, sex, drunkenness, and more sex. So, in this light, I would say that I am a thoroughly, biblically oriented Christian, which is not bad for a liturgical Anglican such as myself.

By the way, if you happen to be curious as to why my blog received such a rating, according to the rating website my rating was determined based upon the use of the following words: hell (14x), death (7x), dead (3x), drugs (2x), and fucking (1x). As you could imagine, my use of that last word was probably what sealed my rating fate. And, in the spirit of total disclosure, I have to admit that it could have been worse if the website was able to read such cursing proxies as “sh*t”, f*ck”, or even your comic version “*%#@”. Now, further in my defense I have to state that I have never used curse words flippantly, but only in circumstances where the use of such words were rhetorically justifiable, as for example, when I was quoting someone, or if I just happened to need a word to refer to something that was truly deserving of all the denotations, connotations and associations that such words evoke, which is very rare. Moreover, I do not cuss as a regular practice, except for when I am with my ironically-rated PG friend, Chris Brown, and even then not very much. Oh yeah, there are also those occasions when I am doing projects around the house that are particularly frustrating or that somehow inadvertently cause some kind of bodily pain, but again, even on those occasions the curse words are not liberally employed.

In conclusion, I guess what I am trying to say is that even though my blog is rated R, it should really be considered an R light, or rather a PG-13/R, as the cursing is kept to a minimum and only used in the spirit of “keeping it real”. Consequently, if you are a reader of my blog, my rating should not deter you from future patronage of this site, and it should not deter you from heartily recommending this site to other intelligent and spiritually sensitive people you know. I mean, if it does deter you that would be shitty.

8 Responses to “My Rating”

  1. Anthony Velez  

    Of course this whole thing could just be one, long, self-deluded justification for the fact that I sometimes have a potty mouth.

  2. ROG  

    I was reading 1 Samuel today. Elijah kills a whole mess of people, then the people rise up and kill a whole lot of his allies, leaving him all alone. Rather brutal stuff. Then there’s the demonized pigs in Luke going off the cliff. Fun stuff.

  3. Simon Jones  

    How the fuck is hell a word that would lead to an R rating. Are the people who rate stuff actually dead or on drugs? Their little worlds must bore them to death! But really, who gives a shit anyway? It’s your blog mate, I say cuss it up from time to time. If words are dirty then have yourself the occasional mudbath.

    I’m going to see what dumass shit those fuckers say about the bollocks I write on my blog. Is it possible for their to be something worse than R rated. If so I am going to strive to be as dirty, depraved and downright imoral as I can without putting a bare ass on my site (bare asses are already well represented on the internet I feel).

  4. Before i Forget » HUSH MY DIRTY MOUTH  

    […] I found the gimmick through my friend Anthony who also saw his blog given an R rating, in his case for the use of the words “hell”, “death”, “dead”, “drugs”, and “fucking”. Obviously the rating isn’t serious, but I wondered if there might actually be people out there who would be offended by the use of some of those words. […]

  5. Simon Jones  

    This post has earned to a higher NC-17 rating Anthony due to the fact you have an abundance of shitty fucking death drugs and dead sex hell. πŸ™‚

  6. Anthony Velez  

    Hey, Simon, are you trying to give me a worse rating with all those dirty words you are putting in my comments section? Keep in mind, I don’t think the blog rating algorithm reads the comments section, but it was a nice try.

    In response to my new rating, I think I will exercise my editorial rights and not post it. I feel that my initial R rating is about as far as I wanna go. I mean, if is get an NC-17 than I am going to have to get used the the same spot in Purgatory that you will probably occupy. πŸ™‚

  7. Simon  

    It was a try to get you newly rated. πŸ™‚

  8. Anthony Velez  

    O.K. Honestly, outside of all that I said in my post, I want to assert that it is my conviction that the constant use of foul language expresses a lack of self-control, which is a work of grace. The implication of this is that when one consistently uses foul language it is likely the symptom of a spiritual disorder, a courseness of soul, that inhibits the Spirit’s work of bringing one into the fulness of Christ.