Archive for the 'Enter the Weirdness' Category

When Squirrels Attack

Wednesday, April 6th, 2016

I’m renting a nice car, which means that when I run errands I look for the long way to go from point A to point B, and in one of these excursions on a backroad I encountered a squirrel who was lollygagging his way across the street. Initially everything was going to be fine, as […]

Anxious Face

Monday, March 24th, 2014

Every morning I wake to see the top picture above hanging on the wall just to the left of my bed, a picture of an Italian village near a river. And every morning through the lens of anthropomorphising imagination I see, amidst the buildings of this village, a little face expressing something like anxiety with a […]

Bureau of Emotional Retardation

Monday, April 4th, 2011

Bureau of Emotional Retardation 201 Independence Avenue Washington, DC 20540 Dear Mister Velez, As you know we have been conducting a decade long campaign to identify the most emotionally retarded individuals according to age category, with each age category being grouped by five year spans beginning with 20-25 year olds, and working consecutively to the […]

How Great Is Your Mess

Friday, August 6th, 2010

Because I periodically listen to Christian radio, and because I consistently go to Sunday services, I often have various worship songs on my mind. The thing is, I often end up using the melodies of these songs to sing about the frustrating, and perhaps somewhat mundane, circumstances of my life. For example, I will take […]

Vocalizer

Monday, May 10th, 2010

What is commonly called the voice box, and technically called the larynx, but was the term Alfalfa used when he felt the need to practice his singing prior to crooning Darla, as in “I need to warm-up my vocalizer.” Isn’t it funny what pops into your head just prior to waking up?!?

On Cultic Practices and Missing Keys

Thursday, February 14th, 2008

Today, my coworker, Melinda, who momentarily lost her keys, asked the following question: “Why do keys always disappear?”. Before I knew it, my brain discerned the following answer: Our world coexists with another world, a parallel universe that overlaps but does not, except on rare occasions, interact with ours. The people of this other world […]