Involuntary Erections
The end of the semester draws near and I am reading the first drafts of student research papers. Among the many quotes I read was the following jewel by Saint Augustine:
Women should not be enlightened or educated in any way. They should in fact be segregated as they are the cause of hideous and involuntary erections in holy men.
What I particularly like about Augustine is that he is a fantastic example of how an exemplar of faith is not exempt from blindness. Regarding so many matters about the Xian life he is a master and a profound source of inspiration, but when it comes to his thinking about women and sex, it appears that vestiges from his time as a Manichean remained.
So, here is a challenge for you. The next time you have a theological discussion try working the phrase “involuntary erection of holy men.” into it. The challenge, of course, is to do so in a way that it connects with the content of the conversation and it flows with the point you are making. You don’t want to perpetrate a non-sequitur such as, “Yes, genuine discipleship requires critical engagement with the world while engaging in the full life of the Church, and thus avoiding the involuntary erection of holy men.” Kudos to you if you are able to use this phrase so that it flies under radar.
I have to finish by giving the young lady who used this quote in her research paper two thumbs way up. I mean, it is not often that I can be so entertained while reading student papers.
Wrote the following comment on April 8th, 2008 at 11:30 pm #
Is that an involuntary erection of holy men, or are you just happy to see me?
I have a similar love/hate relationship with Martin Luther. Having been around seminary students for over a decade now I can see why Luther can be both royal prick and holy fool for God. I like a theologian I can have a drinking contest with and then argue what the spirit of the word means at the same time….but dammit he was a son a bitch when it came to German peasants and jews.
Wrote the following comment on April 9th, 2008 at 12:45 am #
I will certainly work on the challenge of using this in a conversation. While reading Wesley I discovered his wonderful use of the word “ejaculations”. Now mind you this obviousely meant something a bit diferent in 1733, but non the less my imature junior high mind thought it was funny. In self examination at the end of the day one of the questions asked of himself by Welsey was, and I qoute, “Have I duly used ejaculations?” Work that into a sermon. Maybe like, “I would like to challenge the congregation to duly used ejaculations today”
Wrote the following comment on April 9th, 2008 at 6:53 am #
Chris - Pretty good, and definitely funny, but it is still a little awkward as far as flow goes.
Tom - I too have come across the term “ejaculations” in the manner you are talking about, and it conjured up my inner junior higher as well. If I remember correctly I have encountered this term in phrases such as, “Spirit inspired ejaculations” or “render holy ejaculations unto the Lord”.
Wrote the following comment on April 12th, 2008 at 12:01 am #
LOL!! I’m going to call it my “Holy man” from now on!!!!
Wrote the following comment on April 21st, 2008 at 11:21 am #
Anthony- I’ve done something to you I don’t believe I’ve ever done before; I’ve tagged you - http://rogerowengreen.blogspot.com/2008/04/10-more-things-about-me.html
Wrote the following comment on April 21st, 2008 at 8:28 pm #
The last part of this addresses the Luther theorem:
There are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother
2. He liked Gospel
3. He didn’t get a fair trial
But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father’s business
2. He lived at home until he was 33
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God
Of course there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with His hands
2. He had wine with His meals
3. He used olive oil
And as well there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut His hair
2. He walked around barefoot all the time
3. He started a new religion
There are also 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:
1. He was at peace with nature
2. He ate a lot of fish
3. He talked about the Great Spirit
But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.
But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He fed a crowd at a moments notice when there was virtually no food
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn’t get it
3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work to do