Wanna Be My Friend?

Recently I have established my presence in the world of Facebook, which is actually more like a blackhole than a world, as it can easily suck away one’s time. There is something almost addicting about it; in the back of mind I am often wondering if I have a new friend request, or if someone has posted on my wall, or if someone has given me a cyber-beer. Along with this, is the appeal of establishing my persona through selecting the right music, books, movies, TV shows, quotes, interests and activities that clearly demonstrate that I am a well-read, thoughtful, mildly cultured and yet hip fellow, who though he spends a long time revising his persona, doesn’t actually take himself too seriously. In reflecting on this, I fear that Facebook has tapped into my most narcissistic impulses. With all this said, does anyone who has a Facebook account want to add me as their friend?

7 Responses to “Wanna Be My Friend?”

  1. Simon Jones  

    Here’s the thing. I was curious to search facebook for old friends and current ones too (though I already know about them so they weren’t as interesting to me). I found lots of old friends and then I started down the ex-girlfriend route.

    One girl in particular came to mind. She was a significant girl in my life and had circumstances been somewhat different I would have married her. She was a cute little 19 year old when we started dating. You could bounce a nickel off her bare ass and her boundless energy made for all kinds of wonderful memories! But what would she look like today, would she still be a hot little potential underwear model with a lust for life and a spirit of adventurism that made me feel reserved sometimes?

    Well, I found her Facebook, joined her network and was therefore able to browse her profile and pictures at will. Call me spectacularly cruel if you like but boy, as I looked her those pictures I was counting my blessings because married life and a few years had taken her hard little body and turned it into something that resembled a Walmart Super Center! She’s HUGE!!!

    Now before Paula gets a whiff of this spectacularly unPC comment and tells me off I want to speak up in my defense and assure you that I am not being overly harsh. You have to understand that the girl in question was a total babe at 19, she was a complete minx, every mans fantasy in every way, she was a delicious specimen of female beauty and howl at the moon lust! However, the 2007 version had expanded in all areas!

    Her ass alone has more mass than my entire body. Her chin had replicated itself a number of times down her face and her cheeks now had side impact cushioning. Her hands have changed into oversized baby hands plump with grow-into chub that she is never going to grow into.

    My friend Donna asked me what I was laughing about then when I told her she proceeded to beat me around the head which you are probably sitting there feeling like I deserve. And yes, if the girl in question see pictures of me she may well think I too have aged badly.

    All this to say that it made me think twice about the wisdom of Facebook because here I was, not only able to see this girls unfortunate transformation, but also see all kinds of other details about her that would allow me to know more than she ought to be comfortable with.

    So what’s the moral of this story? Well there isn’t a moral and I won’t pretend there was. In truth I just wanted to write about the ‘lucky escape’ I had in a way that you might shake your head at, but come on… I’d challenge any guy to honestly say they don’t relate to that on some level at least. 🙂

  2. Anthony Velez  

    Simon, Yes, to some degree I would imagine that many, if not most guys share the sentiments you expressed regarding females and physical beauty. In further support of what you are saying, I think that we are hardwired to respond to beauty as this ties into how are souls are made to respond to glory, particularly the glory of God. The thing about what you shared, however, is that if comes from a place that objectifies women, and views them as objects of our pleasure. In saying this, I want to be clear that I am not above the sentiments you expressed, unkind thoughts like that run across my mind all the time (I am a critical S.O.B.). If we were to unhook the issue of physical beauty from its orientation upon our pleasure, I think we can be more compassionate upon those who were gorgeous at one time and lost it, or who never really had it. Moreover, we can move beyond a fixation on the senses and see other forms of beauty that are no less as awesome for those who have eyes to see it.

  3. ROG  

    I have one, but I NEVER use it. What does THAT say?

  4. Anthony Velez  

    Rog, It probably says that you are less narcissistic than I am, probably have more self control, and are perhaps a bit more balanced, wise, and mature (psychologically, not necessarily age) than I am. That said, wanna add me as your friend? 🙂

  5. ROG  

    OK, I found SEVERAL people named Anthony Velez; how do I find YOU?

  6. Anthony Velez  

    There are several people with my name?!? I am surprised. I am not sure how to work the search on Facebook, but maybe the following search terms would help:

    Fresno Pacific University (for both college and work)
    Wheaton College (grad school)
    Fresno (residence)

  7. Chris "Lefty" Brown  

    Or check out my network of friends, and then you’ll find Anthony.