True Coffee

Weak coffee is a tease! Unless you hold it up to the light, it looks as brown as any coffee, and thus it gives the expectation that if you drink it you will enjoy a rich, full flavored, bitter sensation. The payoff of weak coffee, however, is disappointment, as the only thing that washes over your tongue is warm water with hints of what youโ€™re missing. When I drink coffee I want a confrontation. I want the feeling that thousands of little ninjas are jumping all over my tongue while kicking its butt. By my second cup of coffee, I want my tongue to feel like an old piece of leather. Last semester, while I was steeped in two poetry classes, I imagined my future professorial self giving advice to my future students, telling them that as literature majors they must drink their coffee black (at least periodically). My rationale being that like literature, true coffee should be a testimony to the ability of the human spirit to withstand bitterness and make something good of it.

8 Responses to “True Coffee”

  1. Chris "Lefty" Brown  

    Man, you really need to spend less time in Charlotte’s Corner mein freund.

    Actually I think you and I need to do a weekend camping trip with some coffee made over a fire pit while conversing about God, the arts, religious experience, and why Jo was the hottest girl in The Facts of Life.

    Let’s look into that before the weather turns.

  2. tom  

    Dang, thats sounds fun. Mountains – Cool weather and BLACK coffee with the grounds still floating in it.

  3. Simon  

    I’d take tea bags. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Kevin of visalia  

    Have you ever thought about roasting your own beans? It’s very easy, inexpensive and once you get the hang of it, you will become an instant coffee snob. Oh you will still drink coffee that others offer you but deep inside your coffee loving soul, you will be thinking, “man, this stuff is really bad and I can’t believe I used to think this coffee was good.” All you need is an air popcorn popper. Check out Tom will teach you everything you need to know. Sorry Simon, I don’t think he has a “dry your own tea leaves” section on his website:)

  5. Anthony Velez  

    Kevin, Thanks for letting me know about roasting my own beans. I will seriously look into it. I mean, how can I pass up anything that promotes snobbery, particularly culinary snobbery. ๐Ÿ™‚

  6. kevin of visalia  

    Anthony, if you have any questions about roasting, e-mail me. It really is so easy. Takes all of about 6-7 min. per batch. An old friend(Cary Kalfayan) from FPC, Opps… FPU, got me started about 3 years ago. I got my popper at the Salvation Army for 2 bucks and that’s all you need. Kevin.

  7. tom  

    O.K. I really need a good cup of coffee. Central Florida lacks any truly good coffee houses. Tony have you been to the “Holy Child Bookstore and Monastary cafe”? It’s name is something like that. Anyway it was on the corner of Palm and Sierra. I do not know if it still exists, but they did the one cup per order method. Step 1: Order Coffee. 2. Step 2 they grind your beans. 3. Step 3 They pour boiling water over said grounds and they make just your cup. It was done the way Tod’s parents used to do it (or still do) at the MCC sale. SOO GOOD.

    I also remember City Cafe (no longer in existence) had a coffee called “Heart of Darkness”. It was the darkest, richest, deepest, kick you in the pants, amazing coffee I have ever drank.

    I think I need to make a cup of coffee

  8. Anthony Velez  

    Tom, Holy Child Bookstore and Monastary Cafe is now The Vintage Cafe, but they still basically serve the same coffee, and they are still connected to the Catholic bookstore. They have one of my favorite drinks, called the Ave Maria, which is Chai spice with Espresso. Don’t try this at Starbucks, however, as their Chai don’t mix well with espresso.